When You’re Worried About Your Teen’s Eating: Understanding Eating Disorders, Anorexia and Body Image Concerns

As caregivers, it can be hard to know when changes in eating, exercise, body image or weight are part of normal teenage development, and when they may be signs of something more serious.

Many young people go through stages of being more aware of their body, comparing themselves to others, or wanting to eat differently. But when food, weight, exercise, body shape or appearance begin to take up a lot of space in a young person’s life, it may be a sign that they are struggling with disordered eating, an eating disorder or body image distress.

Eating disorders are not phases, choices, attention-seeking behaviours or simply about food.

They are serious mental health conditions that can also have significant physical health risks. Anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder and other eating disorders require specialist therapeutic support and medical care.

This blog is not intended to provide treatment advice. Instead, it is here to help caregivers know what they might notice, when to seek help, and where to start.

What caregivers might notice

Eating disorders and body image concerns can look different for every young person. A teen does not need to “look sick” to be unwell, and they do not need to fit neatly into one diagnosis for their distress to be real.

Caregivers may notice changes such as:

• Skipping meals or saying they have already eaten

• Eating much smaller portions than usual

• Cutting out food groups or becoming very focused on “healthy” or “safe” foods

• Avoiding eating with family or becoming distressed around meals

• Checking calories, labels or ingredients often

• Exercising in a rigid or excessive way

• Feeling guilty, panicked or distressed after eating

• Disappearing after meals or spending long periods in the bathroom

• Vomiting, using laxatives, fasting or trying to “make up for” eating

• Bingeing or feeling out of control around food

• Becoming highly distressed by body shape, weight or appearance

• Comparing their body or appearance to others frequently

• Avoiding photos, clothing, mirrors, school or social activities because of body concerns

• Becoming more withdrawn, anxious, irritable, flat or secretive

• Seeming tired, dizzy, cold, faint or physically unwell 

 Some young people may still be attending school, achieving well and appearing “fine” to others. This can make eating disorders and body image distress easy to miss in the early stages.

Why early help matters

It can be tempting to wait and see, especially if your teen insists they are okay.

But eating disorders can become stronger and harder to shift over time.

Early support can help protect your young person’s physical health, reduce the eating disorder’s hold, and support the whole family to respond in a more confident and connected way.

You do not need to wait until your teen is underweight, fainting, refusing all food or asking for help. If your gut tells you something is not right, it is okay to seek support.

When to seek professional help

It is time to seek help if you notice ongoing changes in your teen’s eating, weight, exercise, body image, appearance concerns, mood or behaviour that worry you.

A good first step is usually your GP. Let them know clearly that you are concerned about a possible eating disorder or significant body image distress. Your GP may check your young person’s physical health and refer to an eating disorder service, paediatrician, psychologist, psychiatrist, dietitian or specialist mental health team.

Please seek help promptly if your teen:

• Is losing weight or has had a noticeable change in weight

• Is restricting food or avoiding meals

• Is distressed by eating, weight gain, body shape or appearance

• Is vomiting, using laxatives or trying to compensate for eating

• Is exercising excessively or feels unable to rest

• Is bingeing or feeling out of control around food

• Has become withdrawn, depressed, highly anxious or unusually irritable

• Is refusing food or fluids

• Is not able to participate in everyday life because of food, body, appearance or exercise worries

Some situations need urgent medical care. Please seek urgent help if your young person has chest pain, fainting, seizures, confusion, severe weakness, trouble breathing, dehydration, rapid physical decline, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or you are worried they may not be medically safe.

In Australia, call 000 if there is immediate danger or a medical emergency.

How to talk to your teen

Try to choose a calm time, away from mealtimes if possible. Speak from care rather than fear, frustration or blame.

You might say:

“I’ve noticed eating seems harder for you lately, and I’m feeling worried. I’m not angry with you. I want to understand what’s been going on and help you get the right support.”

Or:

“You don’t have to manage this on your own. We’re going to get some help, and we’ll do this together.”

Try to avoid comments about weight, appearance, “just eating,” or whether they look well or unwell. Instead, focus on what you have noticed, how they seem to be feeling, and the importance of getting support.

You do not have to manage this alone

Supporting a young person with an eating disorder or significant body image distress can feel confusing, frightening and exhausting. Many caregivers feel guilt, panic, sadness or helplessness.

Please know that eating disorders are complex illnesses.

Your role is not to become the specialist therapist or medical provider. Your role is to notice, seek help, stay connected, and be part of the support team around your young person.

Support is available, and recovery is possible.

For more detailed information, including signs to look out for, when it may be urgent, and Australian support services, you can read the full article in our Caregiver

Resource section on the Lemon Drops Kids Therapy website.