Our brains are hardwired for the negative.
This is traced back to the prehistoric days, where the primitive person had to be able to register threats to avoid danger. Without the dangers that were faced in the prehistoric days, it has become very unhelpful, as we can get stuck in negative thinking, which creates a negative neural pathway and a downward spiral into low self-esteem and depression.
We can help our children recognise the negative thoughts that are happening and understand different types of distorted thinking.
We can then normalise this experience and challenge the thought. In doing this we can provide them with a sense of control and power over this pattern of negative thinking.
To spot the negative thought, keep these questions in mind;
Does your child blame themselves for something that was caused by external circumstances?
Do they become easily angry with themselves?
Do they have trouble tolerating mistakes, disappointments or losing?
If so, what is it they are telling themselves?
Once we find out what those thoughts are we can work out what type of distorted thinking they are using.
Are they overgeneralising; thinking that one bad thing means everything is always bad?
Are they catastrophising; making small things seem like big problems?
Do they filter; focusing on the bad and ignoring the good?
We then normalise this by recognising that this is something that many people do, but we can change it by challenging the thought; "what is another possibility?" "Can I be 100% sure this is true?" "If my friend had this thought what would I tell them?"
We can guide our children in recognising these thoughts and turning them around, so that they can gain control of the constant bombardment of these thoughts, which can help to steer them away from low self-esteem and depression.
