When our child’s behaviour causes us to suddenly feel very angry, hurt or helpless, it is because, in that moment, we have been triggered.

Understanding our parenting triggers and dealing with the underlying emotions can help us support our children through their difficult experience, rather than getting lost in our own emotions.

Our children and teenagers can show us a wide range of undesirable behaviours, such as lying, manipulating, shouting and being aggressive. No matter what the behaviour is, responding with punishment simply will not work.

We might notice that our child is very possessive about their ‘things’, but expect others to share with them. Perhaps they want to be first for everything and make decisions to benefit their own needs. They may also want to talk about their own needs, thoughts and opinions while seeming disinterested in yours.

This egocentric nature of a child is their natural behaviour at a certain stage of development. This is completely normal in the first stage of life.

It is normal human behaviour, for both adults and children, to compare ourselves to others. However, when we start to focus on the perceptions that others have more, are better and that we are, therefore, not good enough, this can negatively impact our self-esteem.

Our brains are hardwired for the negative. This is traced back to the prehistoric days, where the primitive person had to be able to register threats to avoid danger. Without the dangers that were faced in the prehistoric days, it has become very unhelpful.

The strongest influence in our life is the behaviour of those around us.

When we understand that our children’s behaviour is their way of communicating, we can view certain behaviours in a different way.

So many parents and care givers spend all of their time meeting the needs of their child and others that their own needs are completely forgotten about.

Good self esteem helps children try new things, take healthy risks and solve problems. It gives them a solid foundation for their learning and development.

It is important to understand that the area of the brain that is responsible for regulating emotions and impulse control is not yet fully developed in children. It takes time to learn and build on skills in order to handle some situations.

Children and young people need adults to help them process their emotions. When we are dealing with a dysregulated child we can often become distressed ourselves. As caregivers we have an opportunity here to teach our children.

Here is why we suggest that starting sessions, even during school hours, is more beneficial than waiting for the out of school hours appointments.

Respect is vital in all successful relationships, and this is no different within a relationship between an adult and a child. The respect works both ways, it's not just the child who has to respect the adult.